Hard

 Hard times and soft men don’t mix well. Usually, demonstrably so, every time they arose, the hard times were caused by the advent of weak men in positions of power and influence. For as long as they are allowed to bumble their way through and blame everything and everyone else for the shambles they’ve created, they will do it.

Weak men are cowards at heart. Soft men want power without accountability, and they want authority without responsibility. When they fail, it’s always someone else’s fault. If ever they succeed, even if the success is insignificant, they will boast of it until the day they breathe their last. There’s an elderly man showing signs of dementia, well into his eighties, still bragging about standing up to a bad dude named Corn Pop when he was yet a teenager. One fleeting, trivial success in an ocean of failure, but you’re going to hear about it until he is no more.

Soft men talk; hard men do. That’s how you know the difference offhand, without any need to delve deeper into their personality. Weak men will attempt to excuse the state of the world and of the church, while hard men will try to remedy it and shout warnings from the rooftops until their voices give out.

It takes a sheepdog to protect the sheep from the wolves. It takes a hard man to protect the innocent from hard men. It’s easy to malign, demean, brush off, ignore, or belittle hard men in good times, but when the good times end, they’ll be searching high and low for a few hard men. The problem they will have is that the hard men are no longer willing to protect the soft ones, so they’ve insulated themselves, made their circle small, and although they will defend those within their circle, they won’t raise a hand in defense of those who mocked them.

I’m not saying it’s right or wrong; I’m telling you how it is so that when order crumbles and chaos reigns, you won’t be looking out your window hoping to see a hard man come to your defense.

When I refer to hard men, it has nothing to do with appearance. The hardest man I’ve ever met was wearing a bright yellow polo shirt tucked into his khakis. No face tattoos, no knuckle tattoos, no neck tattoos, no crazy-eyed, thousand-yard stare, just something under the surface, unadvertised, that spoke without speaking.

Hard men do not need to bloviate or use flannel and facial hair as some sort of accessory; they’re men of character and conviction, men of principle and determination, that will defend what needs defending and do so without hesitation.

Hard men are not standoffish; they’re protective. They’re not uncaring; they’re rational. They’re not divisive; they have morals and ethics. They’re not holier than thou; they have values. They’re not brooding or daydreaming; they’re scanning for danger, situationally aware, and ready to protect those for whom they feel responsible. They don’t speak flowery words to convince someone of their affection; they show love through their actions.

In one generation, we’ve gone from men exhibiting chivalry, bravery, selflessness, and virtue to men using their wives as shields when a cockroach skitters across the kitchen floor. It’s not just the men that are to blame for what we’ve become, the fairer sex demanded more sensitivity, more emotional openness, and more fragility, and they got it in spades. It kind of powers down the desire jets when you hear your man talking about his mascara running from all the crying, doesn’t it, ladies?

Sometimes the worst thing that can happen to you is to get everything you’ve ever wanted. This is especially true of a nation or a society that has turned its back on God. God doesn’t have to rain down fire and brimstone, He just has to leave men to the desires of their hearts, and they’ll destroy themselves all the same. Evil spirals and progresses until it burns itself out. It is a destructive force that has no end to its depravity. It just takes a bit longer. The reason judgment comes at the hand of God is for the sake of the righteous who are oppressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked.

Why hopscotch through this minefield? Why talk about it knowing that I’ll be getting brained with self-righteousness and accusations of misogyny from both sides? Because it is a conversation that must be had for the sake of my children and your children.

It takes hard men to bring about change. If you read your Bible consistently, you’ll have figured that out by now. From Abraham to Joshua, to Samuel, Elijah, Jeremiah, David, Daniel, to the Apostles of Christ, these were all men who didn’t back down from a fight and who weren’t fearful about defending the truth. They stood when others faltered, and they resisted when others acquiesced. Theirs wasn’t a situational commitment to truth, nor did they stand up for truth only when it benefited them. That’s what makes a hard man. Not aggression, not violence, not brutality, but immovability in the face of overwhelming odds. Here I am. Here I stand. Devil, do your worst, but I will not be moved.

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea, Jr.