Distractions

 We missed the rapture again. What is that, the fiftieth time? I gave it a few days just in case Jesus decided to hit the snooze button once or twice, but there are only so many excuses you can make for someone not arriving on time before you are forced to concede that maybe you got the wrong day.

I know, it’s possible He decided to come in a Tesla and forgot to charge the darn thing the night before, so maybe, who knows, today’s the day, and finally, the prognosticators of when Christ will return will be right at last. Eventually, they will, you know. Sure they would have missed it a thousand times by then, but at long last, they will have been right.

What about all the other times they were wrong? Well, we just won’t count those. Never mind all the people that sold all their worldly possessions and stood on a hill in the middle of nowhere waiting to be caught up. Never mind those who only budgeted until 2017 and now have to work into their late eighties to afford a crust of bread and a roof over their heads.

By the time the rapture takes place, even thieves won’t be what they used to be. Rather than sneak in in the middle of the night - if we are to take the analogy to its fitting conclusion and concede that there will be those who can pinpoint the day and hour of Christ’s return – the aforementioned thieves will send a text or a tweet informing you of their intent before they break in.

Jesus may come as a thief in the night, but nowadays, we have floodlights, ring cameras, motion detectors, and high-definition infrared lenses. No, sir, we aren’t going to get caught unaware if we can help it. We’ll detect His heat signature before He comes riding on the clouds and even have some milk and cookies ready just in case He’s up for a snack.

Perhaps because some people believed Joyce Meyer and her ilk when they insisted they were little gods, they feel the scripture explicitly stating that no man knows the day or hour doesn’t apply to them.

That whole thing about the timing of Christ’s return remaining a mystery is for the rubes, the peons, and the little people. Little gods get a free decoder ring with each donation to the mansion fund or the jet fund, and so they know more than those who are merely working out their salvation with fear and trembling.

I get it, though. For those who have cemented themselves into a specific eschatological position because they read the left behind series, the closer we get to all-out nuclear war, the less likely their position will hold. If I were holding out for a pre-tribulation rapture, I know I’d be somewhat verklempt right about now.

And so, rather than allow for the possibility that we will likely see truly horrid things before Christ returns, we run to and fro, giving credence to anyone who spits out a date, the closer, the better, then deflate like a punctured balloon each time the date comes and goes, and nothing happens except for getting the electric bill in the mail.

Knowing that it will be misconstrued, may your friendly neighborhood realist offer some advice? If you focus more on the being ready part than on the when part, the when part won’t matter in the least. Distractions serve to fuel procrastination, and procrastination will lead to you having to scramble for some oil because your lamp is fluttering, and you’re all out of reserves.

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea, Jr.