Old Ghosts

Numbers 32:23, “And be sure your sin will find you out.”

On my last night in Romania, before my flight back to the US I met up with my brother Daniel just to talk, and say goodbye. Since he was finishing up the last of his exams before becoming a tried and true dentist, and we only got to see each other sparingly while I was in Romania, we hadn’t gotten a chance to talk much over the past few months, and during our conversation he mentioned a book he had just come into possession of.

By all rights this book is incendiary, at least as pertains to the Romanian Christian community, because it contains the names of informants, paid or otherwise, who reported on believers during the Communist years. The informants this book names are not people of the world, but rather men and women who called themselves brothers and sisters in Christ, believers who betrayed the brethren and by their statements subjected countless individuals to unspeakable things.

The reason my brother brought up the book in question, was because he found our grandfather’s name in it, as well as the names of two of the individuals who informed on him to the secret police. From what my brother told me, the book is very well documented with the file numbers in the government archives, cross referenced and researched almost tediously at times.

The reason I bring this up is twofold. First, as next of kin, and direct descendants, we are now able to access our grandfather’s voluminous file, detailing all who informed on him to the secret police, the interrogations he was subjected to, and the incarcerations he had to endure. My brother Daniel has already commenced with the paperwork towards this end, and soon we will be able to fill in some of the missing pieces of our grandfather’s life, know who his true friends were, and also those who merely pretended to be his friends.

The second reason I brought up this event, is to make one simple point: Old ghosts don’t die, they just linger waiting to be uncovered. The sins of men eventually find them out, and though it has been over a quarter of a century since my grandfather was tortured and beaten to within an inch of his life, and those that signed affidavits, and informed on him have most likely long forgotten their cowardly acts, the truth of their actions still remained, and the evidence of their betrayal lingered these many years.

My brother and I talked at length whether it would be better to let sleeping dogs lie, to leave the past to its own murky waters, whether we would be able to forgive those who were directly responsible for the pain our grandfather endured if it turned out that they still feigned friendship after so many years, or if in this case ignorance was the best course of action. We concluded that there is no bliss in ignorance, just ignorance, and knowing a painful truth is by far more preferable than accepting a plausible lie.

Other than the two men already named in the aforementioned book, documented to have informed on him, we do not know how many other names we will find in our grandfather’s file, how many more sold their dignity for a handful of barley, or the many other things our grandfather endured but chose to spare us, but we feel that we must know.

With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.