Just Like Jesus!

 You know something has gone horribly awry if you have to double-check to see if something you’ve read online wasn’t put out by the Onion. Sometimes people say stupid things in gest, and I tend to give them a pass for the most part. I’m not some hyper-sensitive boob looking to feign outrage and accuse someone of the worst sort of atrocity even though I know what they said was not intended in the way it was interpreted.

We used to extend people grace. We used to give people the benefit of the doubt. We used to allow for foibles, imperfections, flubs, slips of the tongue, and other such things, but no more. Selective outrage and unquestioning subservience have become our new drugs of choice. Like any cult, if you reject, denounce, or otherwise refuse to join the clique, well, then you should just be dispensed with. If not outright killed, then put in a deep dark hole and fed tofu and soy for the rest of your life.

Maybe it’s the testosterone making you so disagreeable to the idea of Communism. Perhaps it’s misplaced machismo, or masculinity, making you question the ever-changing science, but they have ways of dealing with that too. They’ll just put you in a dress, pump you full of estrogen, and play videos of people asking why you want to kill grandma with your selfishness on an endless loop. You’ll be moisturizing, wearing a face diaper, and singing the praises of Socialism in no time flat.

On a serious note, however, I received the same message from three different people yesterday, and I actually had to do a bit of digging to make sure it was not satire. I needed to make sure it wasn’t someone trying to pull a prank.

To be fair, just so we understand the context, I found it a wee bit cringe when Christians would go on and on about Donald Trump being King Cyrus reborn. If you are unaware of who King Cyrus was, he was an ancient king used by God as an instrument, although not a worshipper of the one true God. There was no talk of him being a saint, no talk of him being divine, just a type and shadow of a long-ago individual who did good despite himself.

Fast forward to the year 2021, and we have the following nugget from someone on Twitter: “Jesus fell three times carrying the Cross while on the way to Calvary to save us. Biden also fell three times carrying the hardship America is going through on his way to deliver Hope. Today God looked upon Biden and said, ‘this is my Son, the beloved, in whom I am well pleased.’”

I’ll just let that marinate for a minute, like a fart in an elevator. The Beth Moores of the world were all aflutter, up in arms, and beside themselves, because Donald Trump was compared to a godless king of the ancient world, but are perfectly fine with a man whose most profound thought of late was why does the pudding in his diaper have chunks being compared with Jesus!

So, to clarify, no, Joe Biden is not like Jesus; in fact, far from it. Joe Biden is a corrupt, addled, aging, power-drunk septuagenarian, perfectly fine with partial-birth abortion, late-term abortion, in fact, abortion of any kind, among other things. I’m confident that on the list of what Jesus would do, supporting the murder of the innocent is not among them.

I could go on because the list is long, but what would be the point? We must all now sleep in the bed that a man who can’t make it up a flight of stairs has made, and even at the risk of angering some of you, we deserve nothing less.  

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea Jr.