Mirrors

 I turned one year older recently, and for me, it’s always a time of self-reflection. I’m not big on cakes, parties, or candles, but I do take a good chunk of time every year I get closer to the inevitable to look at my life, what has been, what is, and if I am being faithful to my calling, as well as doing what I must to further the kingdom of God.

I want to be a good servant. I also want to be a good father, husband, and provider. You can’t just be one thing in life. Biblically speaking, you must be adept at wearing different hats and doing your best at everyone. If I were a good servant but a horrible husband, then my testimony would suffer, and sooner or later, I’d be of no use as a servant. If I were a good servant but an absentee father, not only would I be robbing my daughters of their dad, I’d plant a seed of resentment toward God in their hearts because, in their eyes, it’s God that’s keeping daddy away.

Have you ever wondered why so many pastor’s kids break bad? Part of it may be because the enemy is targeting them disproportionately more than others, but most of it is due to how much time dad spent at home with them, being present and engaged.

For someone who grew up in the country and farmed potatoes, my grandfather was a wise man. He was my father figure for most of my youth because working two jobs just to keep us fed didn’t leave much time for commiseration with my dad. No matter how busy we got or how many people wanted to shake my grandpa’s hand and spend time with him, he never sidelined me or made me feel left out. You might think it would have been hard to do since I was his interpreter, but it can be done and quite readily.

I think that’s one of the things I respected most about him. He never let any of it go to his head. From speaking in front of thousands of people to appearing on television to doing radio to being at home deep frying catfish and making mamaliga, he was always the same.

I strive to be that way, especially when it has to do with my daughters. Although I sometimes find myself working well into the night and realize they’ve already gone to bed, most days, I succeed in spending time with them beforehand, reading them a story, telling them I love them, and kissing them good night.

Self-reflection and self-analysis are necessary for the believer, but they must be done in the light of Scripture and with the honesty of a five-year-old who tells you what they really think about sauerkraut. You know yourself well enough to go to the Word and see whether or not you are in harmony with it. You know yourself well enough, and hopefully, you are self-aware enough to identify the areas that are lacking, that need work, and that need to be strengthened.

Self-delusion doesn’t trick anyone else but you. Telling yourself something you know not to be true only serves to keep you in the place you are and making no progress toward the place you want to be.

Everything in life that you want to attain requires actionable steps. If you’re going to learn to cook, you buy a cookbook, a pan, and the necessary ingredients, and you have at it, following the instructions and practicing until you become proficient. If you want to know Jesus, you get the instruction manual, make the necessary time, and follow the instructions therein.

If He says I must deny myself to come after Him, then that’s what I must do. If He says I must pick up my cross to come after Him, then I can’t leave it on the side of the road, hoping He doesn’t notice I don’t have it.

This isn’t Web MD. You don’t get to self-diagnose and pretend that coughing up blood is just a symptom of dry air in your home. The Bible is the prescription after you’ve been thoroughly diagnosed by a professional and all your maladies have been identified.

This is what you must do if you want to live. This is what you must do if you want to hear the Master say well done when He returns. The Bible’s instructions are declarative. You don’t get a choice as to whether or not you follow through and obey, at least not if you want to be with Him in eternity.

The moment you know what’s wrong with you, you must begin remedying it. If you find out your heart’s pumping gravy and you’re one Big Mac away from clawing at your chest, but you head for the drive-thru anyway, then your desire wasn’t to live, and finding out you’re dying was just another bit of information you squirreled away.

Knowing and doing are two separate things, but you can’t start doing before you know; as such, the doing depends on the knowing. With all the resources we have at our fingertips, if we lack knowledge, it’s because we are willfully ignorant. If we do not know the truth, it’s not because we never ran across it but because the flesh convinced us we didn’t need to be set free.

The clock is ticking. The groom is coming. Jesus is returning for a bride, but not just any bride. He is returning for a bride without a spot or wrinkle. Yes, He’s selective and deserves to be. Look in the mirror of the Word and see whether there are yet wrinkles that need to be ironed out or stains that need to be washed clean by the blood of the Lamb.

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea, Jr.