Job XLVIII

 Job 2:11, “Now when Job’s three friends heard of all this adversity that had come upon him, each one came from his own place – Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite, and Zophar the Naamathite. For they had made an appointment together to come and mourn with him, and to comfort him.”

Bad news travels fast. It’s one of those truisms that has been around for ages, and it will continue to make the rounds because it’s so relatable. If one person shares good news with another, it’s likely to stay between them. I’ve rarely, if ever, heard someone say, “Did you hear the good thing that happened to so and so? I’m so happy for him!” If it’s ever said, it’s usually with a tinge of envy or a rolling of the eyes, as though the person was unworthy or undeserving of that good thing because unregenerate human nature is biased, vindictive, jealous, envious, and rarely do you find someone who is genuinely happy about another’s success.

If, perchance, success finds someone, and another happens to be in their inner circle, the first thought crossing their mind isn’t that they deserve it because they’ve worked hard for it, but how they could profit from it themselves, whether to ride their coattails or siphon off as much as they can in as short a time as they can.

We’ve all heard the stories of musicians who found success and suddenly had an entourage of fifty people following them everywhere until they fell on hard times, couldn’t afford the entourage anymore, and discovered who their true friends were in real-time. If anyone calling themselves your friend is only there for the feasting, but come the hard days they disappear into the ether, they were never your friend to begin with. It’s one of those painful but necessary lessons we learn as we grow older.

Job had been a fortunate man, not only in that God blessed the work of his hands but that by all available evidence, he had true friends. As the saying goes, if you have one true friend in life, you’re fortunate; if you have two, you’re blessed; and if you have three, you’re highly favored. Anything beyond that, and you’re just fooling yourself.

News didn’t travel so fast back in the day, yet somehow, Job’s friends had heard of his adversity. Nowadays, we have Facebook, so everyone’s business, whether good or bad, is out there, like so much laundry hanging on the line, for people to peruse and either shrug their shoulders, shake their heads, or roll their eyes. It’s okay to keep some things to yourself. It really is. Whether it’s because some people have become addicted to attention, sympathy, or the praying hands emoji, most today tend to overshare, especially when it comes to situations that need to be dealt with personally and not in the public eye.

Does the entire world really need to know that your wife made you scrambled eggs when you asked for an omelet this morning? I didn’t think so. Eat the eggs, be grateful, thank her for doing it, and get on with your day.

It seems as though Social Media allows us to revert back to our childhoods when we whined and complained about everything, whether valid or imagined. I get that it’s a release or a way to vent, but you’re not doing yourself any favors by crying wolf about every little thing to the point that people just ignore you altogether.

But if they were real friends, they wouldn’t ignore me! Honestly, how many times can someone read that you were disappointed by the quality of the avocados you purchased at the local grocery store, even though they were discounted and looked like their best days were behind them? You live in North Dakota. To the best of my knowledge, it doesn’t even crack the top ten of the best places to grow or find fresh avocados. Granted, it’s been a minute since I’ve seen an updated list, but unless something has changed dramatically, I still think I’m right about this.

Job was well known enough throughout the land, and his situation was so cataclysmic that without the aid of telephones, telegraphs, interwebs, e-mail, snail mail, or CB Radio, news of his demise traveled far and wide, so much so that his three friends heard of it and decided to come to mourn with him. That’s how we know they were true friends and not just friends in name only.

It’s likely they weren’t neighbors or even lived close by because they actually had to make plans to come visit Job, making an effort and going out of their way hoping they could be a comfort, or in the least, mourn with their friend.

Their reaction to hearing the news of what Job was going through says a lot about their character, as well as Job’s. If he’d been a fair-weather friend to them, they would have reciprocated in kind. Because he’d been a true friend to them, they went to be by his side and be there for him in his time of need and despondency. Be the kind of friend you’d like to have, and you will have that kind of friend. Reciprocity is demonstrably real, whether in a friendship, a marriage, or our relationship with God. The more we draw close to Him, the more He draws close to us. The more we value and cherish our wives or husbands, the more they will cherish us because most people mirror behavior without even being aware of it.

It’s easier by far to have expectations of everyone else around us than to have the self-awareness to look at ourselves and see if we are living up to our own standards. This goes beyond friendships to every area of our lives, wherein we expect of others what we ourselves fall short of, yet sit in judgment over them because they failed our litmus test. Rather than constantly pointing out how someone could have been a better friend in a given situation, perhaps it's time to ask if we could have been better friends as well—just a thought.      

With love in Christ,

Michael Boldea, Jr.