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Friday, September 17, 2010

Old Ghosts

Numbers 32:23, “And be sure your sin will find you out.”

On my last night in Romania, before my flight back to the US I met up with my brother Daniel just to talk, and say goodbye. Since he was finishing up the last of his exams before becoming a tried and true dentist, and we only got to see each other sparingly while I was in Romania, we hadn’t gotten a chance to talk much over the past few months, and during our conversation he mentioned a book he had just come into possession of.

By all rights this book is incendiary, at least as pertains to the Romanian Christian community, because it contains the names of informants, paid or otherwise, who reported on believers during the Communist years. The informants this book names are not people of the world, but rather men and women who called themselves brothers and sisters in Christ, believers who betrayed the brethren and by their statements subjected countless individuals to unspeakable things.

The reason my brother brought up the book in question, was because he found our grandfather’s name in it, as well as the names of two of the individuals who informed on him to the secret police. From what my brother told me, the book is very well documented with the file numbers in the government archives, cross referenced and researched almost tediously at times.

The reason I bring this up is twofold. First, as next of kin, and direct descendants, we are now able to access our grandfather’s voluminous file, detailing all who informed on him to the secret police, the interrogations he was subjected to, and the incarcerations he had to endure. My brother Daniel has already commenced with the paperwork towards this end, and soon we will be able to fill in some of the missing pieces of our grandfather’s life, know who his true friends were, and also those who merely pretended to be his friends.

The second reason I brought up this event, is to make one simple point: Old ghosts don’t die, they just linger waiting to be uncovered. The sins of men eventually find them out, and though it has been over a quarter of a century since my grandfather was tortured and beaten to within an inch of his life, and those that signed affidavits, and informed on him have most likely long forgotten their cowardly acts, the truth of their actions still remained, and the evidence of their betrayal lingered these many years.

My brother and I talked at length whether it would be better to let sleeping dogs lie, to leave the past to its own murky waters, whether we would be able to forgive those who were directly responsible for the pain our grandfather endured if it turned out that they still feigned friendship after so many years, or if in this case ignorance was the best course of action. We concluded that there is no bliss in ignorance, just ignorance, and knowing a painful truth is by far more preferable than accepting a plausible lie.

Other than the two men already named in the aforementioned book, documented to have informed on him, we do not know how many other names we will find in our grandfather’s file, how many more sold their dignity for a handful of barley, or the many other things our grandfather endured but chose to spare us, but we feel that we must know.

With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dear Michael,

I can't say it often enough, how glad I am that we have in you a pastor that holds to his integrity no matter what. Just this week, I have been rereading your grandfather's messages to America, and again am awestruck over the way he was led and protected. I thank the Lord for your courage in pursuing more facts about those who betrayed and persecuted him, and hope you will share with us, in summary, what you and your brother discover in the government file (not necessarily as to specific names, of course). I wonder whether we might marvel all the more as we discover how Dumitru was protected in many ways that were never suspected. Praise the Lord for bringing truth to light! "There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed," as He tells us.

Dear Pastor, may the Lord keep you strong and steadfast in the true faith.

In Jesus' name,

Melanie

Evening Star said...

Ignorance is not bliss, I agree with you there. It is what you do with the knowledge that is truly important. "Those who do not know history are bound to repeat it," the old adage goes.

God is not in the past, though. And the past can never change, just our perspective of what happened as we learn.

God is in the present - eternal. What I ask is what you hope to do with this knowledge? Would you seek revenge on those who have harmed a member of your family? Or will you ensure you do not do the same acts to another you encounter in your own life?

Do you look about you and wonder, who is my real friend and who is just pretending to be? Or do you look to your own relationships with others and ask yourself, who am I a true friend to and who do I have in my own life as a means of advancing my own well being or the well being of those I care about?

Forgiveness involves primarily learning the positive lessons of the past as they apply to our actions in the present and letting the rest go. And in forgiving, we ourselves are forgiven and can step forward again.

Whatever you uncover in your search, I pray that you and your brother find God's Peace in your hearts by the end.

God Bless.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the Lord is bringing this to light to glorify His name. Maybe some of those who were weak back then, regret their actions like Peter did when he denied Christ 3 times before the cock crowed. We know you will forgive because you are Dimitru's grandson's and called to do great things like he did. I suppose you will not only forgive, but love your enemies, and pray for them, because they are in big trouble and they need your forgiveness. The Lord said whoever you forgive he will forgive. Their eternal destiny may possibly be in your hands. Your obedience to humble yourself to the Lord and forgive your enemies will destroy the ghosts which we as children of the King have no interest in. My mother was a wonderful christian who was brutally beaten to death by my father 25 years ago when she was 52 years old. I was 32 at the time and asked the Lord how can this be? My mother is dead and my father is a murderer. I had gotten saved when I was 20 and had faithfully served the Lord until then and my plan was for my dad to get saved not become a murderer. The Lord told me,"You have to wait like Paul Harvey, for the rest of the story". For the last 2 years the Lord has put my father in my hands. He has gone from being a walking demon to a decent person. I know the Lord is going to save him. Lately I keep seeing people do evil things and I make my own judgement about them. The Lord keeps saying to me, who are you to judge another man's servant? He keeps giving me tougher cases to deal with and requiring me to come to Him about each one.
Anyhow, thanks for your honesty about the whole thing. We are all going through these types of tests. Iron sharpens iron.
Caryn

Anonymous said...

No one can truly know what you and your family have been through Michael. On one hand, I am so sorry for all that you and your family have suffered, but not sorry with ungodly sorrow. For I know those very things are God's tools to work eternal beauty in all involved. So what I say, I want to say carefully, lovingly, and in the fear of God. I read once that the seed of the serpent exposes, uncovers and always with the same purpose...to bring shame, condemnation, defeat. God, Who is Love, covers. Love covers a multitude of sins, pouring on grace to bring conviction, godly sorrow, and repentance. Why go digging in a graveyard?

I spoke once with a woman from another country, who told of a godly professional man who fell into sin. Someone wrote a book, exposing this man in a "biography." The Lord spoke to this woman and said, "I hate that kind of book! Once those words are written, people read them, and remember them, and make it hard for the person who has fallen to break that image! They have no idea that I am going to work in that man, and bring him to repentance, and recover and redeem him! I do not give up on My own."

That is the heart of God. I am so glad my sins are not written in a book for all to see. It would be a horror show. I am glad my sins aer in the sea of forgetfulness, and that I have a new life in Jesus.

Forget those things that are behind, and press on to what lies ahead, dear brother...

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