I was going through my mail the other day when I happened upon a letter. As I do with all my correspondence, I opened it and began to read it. This letter so moved me that I want to share parts of it with you. Afterwards I will respond to it publicly, since the sender did not include a return address.
Michael, I have no idea what your life has been like. On the other hand, you have no idea what it is like to be raised as lukewarm puke…in a home with mediocre religion and not Christ Jesus. Sometimes I feel this is worse than no God at all. With no knowledge of God, it is a blank slate. With religion, there is so much wrong belief that has to be gotten rid of first; some deep rooted.
Your blog has been a life saver to me. Reading how you rightly interpret Holy Scripture has taught me how to do that, too. The blog is a quick read, easy to copy when inspired and an easy reference to give to others. Books are OK. Videos are OK. But a blog has its place.
You are entitled to your life – consider this understood. However, you started to blog and now for whatever your reasons are, you dropped it like a hot potato. Stop focusing on end times and the cries of your critics. Write about our King, Jesus, and His glorious kingdom. This is the day the Lord has made – let us rejoice and be glad in it. Just lift high the name of Jesus in the blog…you know how much those hating our king hate that name. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. There’s just something about that Name!
It is my belief that the devil wins whenever he can silence the ones that administer God’s Word. This is not a victory you want on your side of the balance sheet…is it? God does not grant abundant wealth to many people because He knows it will tempt them away from His Kingdom. Has God withheld a family form you until now because e it is tempting you away from Him? You say you have been doing this work since you were 12 years old. Do you consider work for Him a privilege and an honor? Has it become a burden for you? Rest if you must but don’t quit. Perhaps you do not realize the words Christ gives us through you are very important. Please reconsider writing in your blog. On days you are short on time or effort, just post a ‘nugget’ or two. I would be happy to send the over 300 I have accumulated to you for easy reference.
And that was pretty much the entire letter. Now for my answer:
I guess the best way I can describe what I’ve been feeling can be likened to watching a slow motion controlled demolition of a building. Anyone who’s been near a television or a computer with internet access knows exactly what I’m talking about. First, the spider web of cracks, then the sagging in the middle, the inevitable collapse, the enormous dust cloud, and when it all settles, the rubble.
The inevitability of the coming days doesn’t so much scare me, as troubles my spirit on a very deep and profound level. The countdown is over, the sequencing is done, the button has been pushed, and how we’re seeing the cracks, and the sagging, and sooner or later the crumbling of the edifice we’ve so proudly built and lauded.
More troubling still is the utter silence of the church, those who ought to have the backbone and wherewithal to stand, whose very nature ought to compel them to shout the warning from the rooftops.
I’ve shouted until my throat bled, then shouted some more. Sooner or later, however, one must honestly assess whether or not they are simply screaming into the void. I am a realist at heart. I am not one of those people cursed with an elevated sense of self-worth, or self-importance. I don’t believe I am the last great hope for the church as some do of themselves, or that without my constant input the church will falter and fall by the wayside. My drive, and my mission has always been to teach people to stand on their own two feet, to rightly discern the truth from the lie for themselves, and by certain details in the letter I’ve shared with you, I see I’ve been successful to a certain degree.
My quest has never been to make you dependent upon me, but to stir you to a true and burning desire to rightly discern Scripture for yourselves.
It is undeniable that my life has changed, and is daily changing. We’re in the home stretch of welcoming our baby daughter into the world, an answer to many a prayer, and a moment of untold joy.
As the head of my household, it is also incumbent upon me to provide for my family, and do my utmost to make sure that their needs are met.
This blog, the writing, has always been a labor of love, and it will continue to be for the foreseeable future. I will not taint it, or attempt to transform it into something else, because I want it to remain what it has always been.
I will keep writing as I am able. The nursery is finished, the crib is present, as is the changing table, the baby bath, the diapers, the wipes, the cutest clothing you’ve ever seen, and even the stroller is on its way.
To be perfectly honest, I’ve simply been enjoying spending time with my wife – perhaps making up for lost time – speaking to my unborn daughter, and being in the moment.
I don’t know. Perhaps my response raised more questions than gave answers, but to sum it all up, I will keep writing as I am able, but I have to balance it with providing for my family, being there for my wife and daughter, cleaning, vacuuming, cooking, and enjoying the sun which has been absent for lo these many months.
With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.