Yesterday I turned 33. I used to think that was old, I really did. Now it doesn't seem so old anymore. I was away for a few days, hence the reason for no posts, my wife took me to Chicago for my birthday, and we walked around mostly looking at the architecture. Somewhere on State Street, there is an old building that by all evidence seems to have been a home, which has been gutted and turned into a department store. For some reason seeing that old homestead turned into just another place for people to spend money they don't have on things they don't need made me sad inside, and it got me thinking.
Too many today have a singular desire to build a kingdom here on earth. They toil and labor in the hopes that they will leave a mark on history, that they will be remembered from generation to generation, not realizing that sooner or later, all flesh is forgotten, swept under the maelstrom that is time. There is no permanence here on earth, and with each passing year, with every creaking of the knees, with every white hair that appears on my head, my own mortality and temporal nature is brought more sharply into focus. I know, I should be happier, I should be posting something witty and upbeat, but it's the kind of mood I'm in and I've always tried to be as honest as possible in my postings.
It's human nature I guess to analyze one's life with each passing year, and I've come to the conclusion that I'm getting tired. Since God called me into ministry I have strived to fight the good fight, to preach the truth, to urge people to repentance, to warn of what is not merely coming in some far off future, but what is by all evidence already here, ready to tear asunder the fragile illusion we have meticulously fashioned for ourselves that all is well, and I find myself wondering more often than not if it has made any sort of impact, if in fact I have not been what amounts to yelling in the face of a hurricane all these years.
The truth, is that with all the sacrifice and all the labor, it seems the church has distanced itself from truth even more in these last days, it has chosen to reject the cross with ever greater frequency and audacity, and those who still go against the grain, those who speak contradictory to the great majority are belittled, rejected, and verbally stoned from all sides. Did I expect any different? No. It's just that the reality of it all is getting to me. I am human after all.
Pray for me. It's easy to adopt the mindset of Jonah and find a shady spot where we can pop some popcorn and watch what has been foretold unfold, but love for the lost compels us to press on, one more day, to preach one more sermon, to write one more article, hoping this will be the one that will pierce their hearts.
No, God did not promise it would be easy, just that it would be worth it. Thank you for being patient with me, thank you for your prayers, and as I've stated on a previous occasion, you can think the worst of me, but believe the best of Christ.
With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.