I can make like a wall, and pretend to be impenetrable, but the truth is that I am not impenetrable.
Throughout the Word of God we see men who were called into ministry, men whom God endowed with power, still retaining their humanity, still having emotions, struggles, times of uncertainty, and even desperation.
Just because we have been called, it does not mean that we will no longer experience the gamut of human emotions. Even Jesus wept.
When I started this web log, I made a promise to myself and to God, that I would be honest and forthright, even when my honesty didn't portray me in the best of lights. No airbrushing allowed, you get to see me, pimples and all.
Maybe some of you need to see the humanity in the servants of God, to keep you from idolizing them, and raising them up on pedestals. Others need to see their humanity, to realize they are going through the same hardships you are, and they need your prayers just as much as you need theirs.
I was flying home from Kansas today, and the following are some random thoughts I wrote down in the notebook I carry with me, and use as my journal. Chances are they won't make sense to many of you, but I promise I will post something more coherent tomorrow, once I've gotten some rest.
Just as you're about to dip your toe in lake cynicism, someone bakes you a carrot cake!
(Thank you for the carrot cake Helen, it was delicious.)
Just as you start pleading with God to release you from your duty, having grown tired of dead churches, and fake smiles, God send you to a place where there is still a hunger for the Word, and where the man shaking your hand, and smiling isn't doing it because he has the word 'usher' stenciled in gold letter on his blue blazer, but because he really means it. He is honestly glad to see you in the house of God!
Maybe we can still hope after all!
Just as you start worrying about tomorrow, or a thousand other things fighting for attention in your weary mind, you look behind you to see a little boy, grinning from ear to ear, clapping along to the worship music, and just for an instant, all seems right with the world. So precious, those moments of stillness and peace.
If only we would stop confusing the journey with the destination, life would be so much easier to live.
Sometimes in order for us to be whole there needs to be less of us. The great Surgeon knows what needs to be removed, that we may be complete.
Never forget the selfless acts of kindness , those you've only just met perform on your behalf. A man I'd only just met, once offered me his shoes. Almost ten years later, I still remember it like it was yesterday.
Love must be the driving force, the principal motivator, otherwise the wounds caused by truth will not cauterize. The wounds will not heal if the Word is not preached in love!
Be humbled by the calling in perpetuity.
As far as delegating is concerned, I am by no stretch of the imagination a micro manager. In many instances I find out where I'm going the morning I drive over to Geno's house to pick him up. The things that I do, and yes I realize it sounds conceited, but it's the truth, can only be done by me. Prayer helps. Thank you for your prayers.
With love in Christ,
Michael Boldea Jr.